"To Love Your Self"
by Rev. Christine 2/2/03"You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your might." First found in Duet 6:5, and again said by Jesus the Christ in Matt 22:37, Mark 12:30, Luke10:27, "that this was the greatest commandment in the law" and he added to it with "Love your neighbor as thyself." He goes on to say (Matt. 22:40) "These two commandments hang all the law and the prophets." He later added "you shall love one another as I have loved you."
Love begins with God, loving God with all our heart, mind, soul, and might. Then we can begin to love our self, for we are told that we are made in the image and likeness of God, the Kingdom of God is within us. Our first relationship is with our self – by knowing our true Self we can love as God loves us.
We always are loving our neighbor as we love our self, the problem is that we don’t know how to love our self, and thus our love is not love at all, but fear based in separation and judgement. When we have the child’s vision of a God that sits on a throne wearing a white robe and crown in judgement; and we believe that this God gives and withholds its good depending upon how good we’ve been – a God to fear – this is not love, but this is the kind of love that we are capable of giving to our neighbor, family and friends.
To love God, and for us to Love each other, first we must know God. Human love is always looking outside our self for love and thus we eventually find disappointment. While true unconditional love, the kind of love that is always present, is within us. The source of love being God, for God is Love, and God is always within us as us. "We are made in the image and likeness of God" – thus Love is ever available flowing through us.
My first real relationship was not with my husband, I was a child bride of 17, believing in everlasting love and that marriage was forever. I thought I loved him, but how could I – I didn’t love or even know myself. I was never so alone. I had expectations of my husband to fill the gap in my life. Of course, he was just as much in the dark of knowing himself.
But then, when the darkest hour came – I discovered God. A kind of God that I had never known before; an all loving all powerful presence that fills from the inside out.
In my free time I would read, meditate, explore and put to practice. I began to flower, and was soon no longer the girl my husband married. Shortly thereafter we went our separate ways.
My spiritual journey had just begun – I had a new relationship in God. But every time I would forget and disconnect from God as my source of love, I would find disappointment. I would remind myself that I was looking amiss – and again connect with God. God always finds an outlet for love, although, it may not be from where we expect or feel we deserve it, but if we are truly being loving – love will come to us.
I found a love that is so much greater than the kind that we find when we are looking for love from each other. I found a true companion that will always be with me. But like with all friendships we must nurture it. Building a relationship with God is much like courting. We first must pay attention, we diligently listen, then give our gifts, and we praise often. I translate this to:
1. Paying attention by seeing God everywhere. Beginning with our self we see God in our body, mind, heartbeat, each and every breath we breathe – God within our holy temple. Then we extend our attention to seeing God in the flowers, trees, as the air, the life and substance of everything all around us. We continue to see God in our family, co-workers, even in those we don’t like or fear.
2. Listening by learning to quiet our inner mind chatter – making space for the inner voice to come forth. We find in relationships it is rude to speak when being spoken to – actually you can’t even hear what the other person is saying while your mind and/or mouth is making noise. Listening to someone is how we learn about them, and so this is the necessary step to learning about God. We receive inner guidance, knowledge and wisdom of the universe and truth. This is the beginning of communion; an inner union with Self.
3. We give our gifts by doing things together – the giving of our time to being in the presence of God. We take time to be with our self, quiet time, long walks, days at the beach or mountains. Even when we are at work, or doing routine tasks we know God is with us. We enjoy in the little things. A true appreciation for a life in God. It is "The Father and I are One." And, "the Father within doeth the works." We then share our gifts of the spirit with the world; "All things are possible in God."
4. Praise often as you can by being thankful, having a heart of gratitude, being joyous. Seeing the good everywhere – keeping your eye on the prize. Being thankful for the blessings already received as well as for those yet to come. You can never praise too much. "How Great Thou Art!"
We can begin each morning by asking God: what would You have me do today? Then listen for an impulse, idea or directive. God will direct you to settle a dispute, call a friend in need, articulate your heart’s desire – some action to align you with your divine nature, which is love.
Look for opportunities for God to show up. As you practice seeing God in every person you encounter, you may also begin to notice that flowers in bloom have turned more vibrant, that the leaves in the trees are a richer shade of green, that the stars appear closer and have a brighter sparkle. Opening to God’s presence is like emerging from a dark closet into daylight. Your whole world is more expansive and beautiful.
Communicate with God in a new way. Choose a time free of interruptions, when you can relax and savor the silence. Our minds all contain sediment that prevents us from seeing clearly. As we take a few minutes each day to sit in silence, we can let the unwanted static settle. We can clarify our thoughts. We find God in silence.
The absence of silence prevents authentic listening. Silence is part of the way we carve a deeper place in ourselves where the roots of awareness can grow, so that when we’re nudged, we say Yes! That’s a great idea, and we can choose to give room for it in the soil of our life. We can let that idea grow so its roots have some depth. Then, when the winds come or change occurs, we remain strong, and a precious new idea has a chance to grow.
As Confucius said, "Those who would cultivate an entire empire must first cultivate themselves by finding that still space that opens the door to all knowledge."
Ask for insight. Instead of praying that God make someone else or an unpleasant circumstance change, ask that you be the one who is changed. Ask to see a person or situation from a higher perspective. Then be willing to try on a new way of seeing. Throughout the day be ready to receive signs, signals, and nudges from God. And, then be open and receptive to follow – take that step to the unknown, and be pleasantly surprised.
Apostle Paul said, "Pray unceasingly" – he meant stay connected by practicing the presence of God in reminding ourselves of the One Presence and Power always with us and for us. The experience of God is only a thought away. As our relationship deepens, we find a growing trust in God. We find that whenever we call on the presence of God, God is there.
As we learn to connect consciously with God, we begin to experience a relationship that includes comfort and a deep sense of well-being, a feeling of companionship, guidance, protection and provision. We look to God as partner in the most precious and profound relationship in our life. We then are guided to people we can share and experience this love with in wondrous ways co-creating heaven on earth.